Assimilation

So its been about two months since I have been home. I have wanted to make a post about returning for a while now, but haven't been able to find the words. I still don't feel I can adequately describe my feelings now about being home or about how I changed. I feel that I should try anyway.

Today is April Fool's day. Kind of a silly cultural tradition to set aside a day just for playing pranks on those close to us. I have no idea where the tradition came from, but I find myself more connected to it somehow. If I was in China I would be tasked with describing to so many the meaning of April Fool's day. Its history I would have to Google, but its reason I might say something about the importantance of the practical joke. How Americans tend to get so serious and uptight, that we often need a trickster to come along and reteach us that life is not all that serious. The point is I identify with April Fool's day and proudly claim it as part of my culture. Where as in the past I thought of it as just a silly little tradition not to be given much significance. The same is true of so many other traditions and experiences we have like weddings, strip bars, movie theaters, birthday parties, Easter, baseball games, job fairs, driving rules, grad school applications, dinner parties, etc... So many things now that I never thought of with much depth I now imagine what it would be like to explain them to someone who had never experienced them before. It has caused me to really enjoy so many experiences in new depth.

Another big concept that I am having trouble with is coming to terms with the poverty I had seen. I have read about Americans using something like 30 percent of the world's resources when we only take up about 5 percent of the population. I never realized just how evil that statement is until what I had seen and experienced overseas. I think because poorer nations are so far away that we don't see the levels of poverty directly. It makes it easy to write off the economic differences as thinking the worlds poor just do not have the same cultural/ political/ social/ status that we have so therefore aren't privy to the same lifestyle. For me that illusion has been crushed. I realized first hand that the Chinese people are EXACTLY just like us. They have the same dreams, intelligence, hopes, fears, work ethic, aspirations etc... only not the same opportunities. They are our brothers! The reasons for this separation of wealth are complex and geopolitical I am sure, but to see first hand the amount of poverty that exists among such a beautiful people is a great injustice. This is an issue that I am still trying to come to terms with, and probably will for some time.

Homecoming

In a few days I will be returning to the states, and begin my assimilation back into American life. It may take a while, so be patient. Ive listed some things you may notice me doing, if so pay no mind as they are quite common in China.

So, don't be alarmed if you see me...

Meeting someone for the first time, then after 5 minutes ask them how much they make.
Honk my horn obsessively while driving, not to be rude but to be polite letting other drivers know you're there.
Treat the waiter/waitress like a second class citizen, and then not leave them a tip.
Spitting up a big lugee in front of others right on the sidewalk with no shame.
Insist that every meal eaten out involves drinking.
Not agreeing with the price of something at the store, offer a much lower price in an attempt to bargin with the salesman.

Sweet and Sour

I have a history of being over skeptical in life, thinking people's motivations are not what they first appear to be. Some of these thoughts about the teaching staff and the school first surfaced when I came to Jingbian. I really started to doubt how much change a teacher could have in teaching 20 something classes of 63 students a week. There was so little personal one on one time with students. I started to think that maybe foreign teachers were a sort of "band-aid" to the English part of China's broken education system? Maybe we were just meant to cover up the real problems. Or maybe the school just liked us to be there for publicity purposes. Lord knows they loved taking our photos and we were in the News so many times. Parents of my students pay big bucks to send their children to our school, so maybe it was like an advertisement. "Hey parents, send your kid to this school they have foreign teachers who are experts at speaking English".

All of those skeptical thoughts died last night, my last one in Jingbian. Some of the key English teachers reserved a table at the Hot Pot restaurant to have a goodbye dinner. It was loaded with many gifts, and "thank yous". The headmaster himself even stopped in for a bit to have a drink and say a few words (everyone stopped eating, talking, and stood up when he entered the room, much like the military). It was then that I started to realize that maybe I really did do some good here. In the kind of truth that only comes after drinking to much rice wine, I was being told many times by several teachers that I was a great teacher who really made an impact in thier classes in just the short time I was here.

The school wrote me a wonderful letter of recommendation, and gave me all of my severance pay (with some extra for traveling). I was told by several people that I will always be welcome back here forever, to teach or just to visit.

The Great Firewall of China

Before I came to China I was talking to someone from here who told me that I would not be able to access certain websites. Sure enough I found that many sites did not work. Instead of BBC, I had to relay on Yahoo News or MSNBC. I was able to make posts on my blog, but not read it without signing in. I also was not able to access wikipedia when I wanted to gain some quick facts for a lesson plan. Other than that it didn't bother me very much, as I thought at first it was due to some differences in technology that wouldn't let these sights to be viewed.

I later found out that they were purposely blocked by the Government, in what's called the "Golden Shield Project". Only high ranking party members know for sure, but I have read estimates that this operation employees some 30,000 people to monitor and censor sites. In speaking to a Chinese friend who is good with computers, he estimates the numbers to be much less. He thinks the project is run by a type of highly technological American software, and only maintained by a small number of government officials.

The Chinese government maintains that they are only trying to block out sites that contain pornography, obscenity, or illegal activities. Yet several human rights groups say they go to far in limiting free speech. Almost all Blogs in China are blocked or monitored for subversive content. By subversive content that could mean posting information on "Aids", "The Dalai Lama", "Tawain independence", "Tiananmen Square protests of 1989" (sites on all of these topics are blocked from Google searches).



One way I have found out to bypass the system, is through a site called anonymouse.org. Based in the Netherlands, anonymouse is designed to provide anonymity for web searches to prevent their IP addresses from being tracked, but it also works great for searching banned content in China.

Another way to view the Internet freely and untraceable is through the Tor project, which I just recently learned about. Similar to anonymouse, Tor is a free software program that sets up your computer with a network of other computers worldwide. When surfing the Internet, you don't just go directly to a site, but pass through a multitude of other computers in different locations masking your IP address. "Hundreds of thousands of people around the world use Tor for a wide variety of reasons: journalists and bloggers, human rights workers, law enforcement officers, soldiers, corporations, citizens of repressive regimes, and just ordinary citizens."

The Internet is the key tool to free speech, but it is being threatend. I urge you to download Tor onto your computers and use it. It will not only ensure free speech and anonymity for yourself, but also for others all over the world.

Yoga

A few weeks ago I found a flier advertising a Yoga studio on the ground outside my apartment. I picked it up and brought it to school, and asked one of the Chinese teachers to translate it for me. Apparently its a new studio, that had just opened a few blocks from my apartment. So about two weeks ago I went with David and Toba who helped me gain a membership, and I have been going since.

There are two beginner classes a day. One at 9:00am and at 6:30pm. They last about a little over an hour each. Its a good workout, although the Yoga here is much more meditation based. Where as in the states it was more aerobic/exercise based. I am sure to come to classes early so that I can get a mat close to the instructor, and he helps me a great deal giving me non-verbal cues. Its a great experience.

Strange Foods Eaten in China

-Pig's Ear Cartilage
-Sheep's Eyes and Sheep's Brains
-Donkey Penis
-Dog

Schedule Change

I was informed Monday morning that all of my classes have been cut in half. That is, I will no longer be meeting with my classes every week, but every other week. This changes my weekly class load from 22 to only 11.

I am perturbed about how this change was presented to me. I was given the new schedule at the last minute, of the day the change was to take place. I also was not given a very clear reason as to why this has happened and had to inquire myself. It took talking to several people to get a vague answer about the school's decision, which was based something on having to many students, and needing to make room for other classes. I did manage to get a confirmation that the change was not because of my teaching, which did make me feel a bit better.

About the change itself I am feeling strongly ambivalent. On one hand it is nice to have less classes and more free time, but on the other this is a drastic cut. I am worried that I will be become incredibly bored, maybe even get depressed in the next two months. After all, one of the main reasons I did come to China was to get some experience teaching. Plus, I really do love being in a classroom.